whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
