I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
