Whod you bang
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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