it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
be right there i have to get my cape
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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