If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you would pick up someone in the library
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
