The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
