Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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