God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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