Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
