i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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