Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
