she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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