I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
