Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Randomize
