get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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