Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
i think my cat just said my name.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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