Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
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