I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Let's paint friendship bongs
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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