I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
