What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
