The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
