He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
She told me I should be a condom model.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
