I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize