I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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