i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
