soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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