Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
