Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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