those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
