He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
