go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
