So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
