does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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