There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
