they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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