he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
