I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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