I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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