How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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