i just had sex bonerless
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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