How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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