I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
