Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
