I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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