So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
