Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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