it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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