I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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