Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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