i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
