accomplished twins. life is a go
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
