Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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