i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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