i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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