I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
