i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
