I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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