yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need to sanitize my soul.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
