Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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