I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
