I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
